I’m on a slippery slope right now with pumpkin pie.

I must have touched some kryptonite-laced pumpkin because my powers are gone. Recently, I hosted a Pie Supper (more on that later) and made pumpkin pie as one of the choices. Five of them to be exact. I followed my usual recipe, par-baked the crusts and pulled them out of the oven when they had that perfect slight jiggle. I was so optimistic.

With pie, you don’t know the hand you’ve been dealt until it’s too late. When I sliced them up to serve, my optimism shattered as my knife disappeared all too easily into the soft custard. The slices held together, but the structure was just not there and the consistency was far too soft. Since they were definitely fully baked and tasted good, I swallowed my pride and served them anyways (I didn’t really have a choice). I’ve been mad about it ever since.

This blog is peppered with posts about pumpkin pie as far back as 2011. They range from professions of love to misguided choices like roasting fresh pumpkin. One would think that I have settled into my pumpkin pie identity, yet here we are 13 years later, still trying to perfect something that’s not meant to be perfect (see pie rule #1).

Pumpkin pie comes with extra pressure because people generally only have it at Thanksgiving. The stakes are high because you have one chance to make it memorable. If it’s not, you have to wait a full year to replace that memory. The last pumpkin pie I made my mom went so awry that I had to scrape the baked filling out of the pie shell and start over (enter the misguided roasting of fresh pumpkin). She’s out of town for Thanksgiving this year, so I have to wait two years for redemption.

This weekend I embarked on a mission to get all the mistakes out of my system and settle on my attack plan for Thanksgiving.

Here’s what I know for sure about my pumpkin pie:

• Libby’s brand pumpkin (America’s Test Kitchen tells me I inadvertently used the world’s worst brand of pumpkin in the pies mentioned above. Libby’s or bust now.)
• 3 eggs
• 1 tablespoon of flour
• Not too sweet
• No evaporated milk (maybe it’s in my head, but I swear I can detect an aftertaste)

My theory is perhaps it’s the evaporated milk substitution that is throwing me off. Most recipes will substitute 1 1/4 cups half-and-half for one can of evaporated milk but I wanted to see if scaling that back would help create the texture I was looking for.

This taste test was not the kind that compared a bunch of recipes. That has been done. There are plenty of great articles out there ranging from King Arthur to America’s Test Kitchen about pumpkin pie. And plenty of great recipes that have been tested by people who know what they are talking about. I’m just a normal person, in a normal kitchen, trying to make a normal pumpkin pie (without evaporated milk).

So using my extremely unscientific method, I compared a total of five pies (I included my first pie above as #1). I controlled for the pumpkin, eggs, flour and spices. Each pie had a different amount of cream and since I was going through the trouble, I also experimented with the amount of sugar as well as the oven temperature. My husband and I also thought that we might have completely lost the plot and forgotten what we were even after, so pie #5 was a store bought pie. This was so that we could reset the baseline of what the average American has come to expect in their pumpkin pie. Sad, but true.

Our All Star Pumpkin Line-Up

• #1 (Pie Supper slice from above) – 1 1/4 cups half-and-half, 3/4 cup total sugar, 425 for 15 min, then 350 for 20 minutes. We already know this was too soft.
• #2 – 1 cup half-and-half, 1/3c granulated sugar, 1/4c brown sugar, 350 for 40 minutes
• #3 – 3/4 cups half-and-half, 1/2 cup total sugar, 325 for 45 minutes
• #4 – 1 can evaporated milk, 1 cup sugar, 325 for 45 minutes
• #5 – store bought

The Results

We had a total of four taste-testers. My husband and I proudly served the role as adults who are wannabe foodies and review the flavor profile of pumpkin pie like wine. My 16-year-old son and his friend served the role of teenagers who are just after a mouthful of sugar and whipped cream (no whipped cream was used in this taste test).

Congratulations to pie #2! Except everyone but me wanted it just a little sweeter, so we have decided 3/4 cup total sugar is the magic amount.

The Main Takeaways

• 1 cup half-and-half worked well. The one with evaporated milk did have the texture we have come to expect but I stand strong in my opinion that I don’t like the taste. I think most people would not think twice about that, and most people do use evaporated milk in their pumpkin pie. It’s easy, it’s affordable and I say do what works for you. I just harbor an irrational hatred for it and can’t get past it.
• 3/4 cup total sugar is perfect. This would be a blend of 1/2c granulated sugar and 1/4c brown sugar.
• I’m a fan of the low and slow baking method. I was watching Alison Roman’s Home Movies Thanksgiving Special and she suggested this method and baked her pie at 325 for 40ish minutes. She also used 3/4 cups cream and has an aversion to evaporated milk, so I have found my kindred pie spirit.
• This was ridiculous. All of these pies were edible… EXCEPT THE STORE BOUGHT ONE. Even the teenagers winced at it. I promise, I would never fault anyone for serving a store bought pie. The holidays are a save-yourself-first moment and you need do to whatever it is that keeps you sane. But pitted against the homemade ones, it wasn’t even close.

And so, here I am in a pumpkin pie coma and it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. What did I learn? The lesson pie has been teaching me all along. This is an inherently imperfect dessert and we are inherently imperfect bakers. Be at peace with that. A pie you made yourself will be better than anything you can buy. Most importantly, whatever hand you are dealt, consider it a memory. 🙂

You can find the recipe based on these results HERE.